Carrie Ride-along

So I am auditioning for Carrie the Musical next week and thought I’d better do some research.

Also I’m very lazy and haven’t wanted to leave the house.

Since Carrie is now streaming free on Amazon Prime, I figured I’d check it out.  I posted my intentions on Facebook because I wanted praise and acknowledgement (I could just end this sentence here, I realize) from friends of mine who love horror films and Stephen King.

But then some Boomers started making comments about how scary the movie is.  And how I shouldn’t watch it at night. Or alone. Or without booze.

Admittedly, I was a little spooked, as the only movie that has truly frightened me was The Exorcist and Carrie has a similar flavor, so I imagined.  In order to keep myself from freaking out and poor M Fox from coming home to this:

I decided to “live tweet” while I watched the movie.  Now, I have had a twitter account for awhile, but I had no idea how to use it, what it was for, or why people were so into it.

I honestly still don’t know any of those things (which might also be evidenced by the fact that I am about to BLOG about my TWEETS. . . God help me).  But it was kinda fun and totally useful for making on-the-fly snarky comments as I watched along.  And now, dear readers, you get to enjoy Carrie in 50 Tweets or Less!  If you don’t want spoilers, you probably shouldn’t read them.  Though honestly if you haven’t seen the movie, you probably shouldn’t read them because they may or may not make any sense at all.

The movie itself wasn’t that scary to me.  It was kinda like Revenge of the Nerds to the XTREME.  Or if Mathilda was in high school and not cute as a button.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m a modern desensitized E-generationite who has no feelings or what.  Frankly, I found Carrie’s mom’s religious fanaticism more frightening than Carrie’s telekinesis.  And the ending was kinda cathartic.

Something might be wrong with me.

I dunno, I was bullied quite a bit as a kid so I guess there’s a part of me that understands why you might want to kill a roomful of your classmates who conspired to dump pig’s blood on you and mock you in public.

Well, enjoy!

:D

The Carrie Ride-along with Jasmine Joshua
(start at the bottom and read up.  Don’t judge, I didn’t feel like reversing the order)

  1.  7h “Carrie” was more cathartic than scary. Should I seek help. . .? #carrieridealong
  2.   7h @emberfox I feel like don’t know how to use twitter and that this recent ridealong is proof
  3.   8h So that was Carrie. #carreiridealong #nbd
  4.  8h This weird flute solo sounds like “God on high, hear my prayer, in my neeeeed” #carrieridealong
  5.  8h Really, we’re going to go back to the creepy glowing eye Jesus? #carrieridealong
  6.  8h God, trying to pull her mom off the wall, good GOD #carrieridealong
  7.   8h Okay, why the Jesus allusion? That makes no sense. #carrieridealong #noreason
  8.  8h . . .and apparently orgasming #carrieridealong
  9.  8h Okay, Mrs. White coming down the stairs with a knife smiling is the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen #carrieridealong

  10.   8h “I smelled the whiskey on his breath. And it took me” #carrieridealong
  11.  8h Well, that explains the Great Votive Shortage of the town #carrieridealong
  12. 8h Hahaha, way to go firetruck, see a girl doused in blood walking along, ignore. #carrieridealong
  13. I feel like it would have been nice of her to drag out Tommy’s unconscious body. #carrieridealong
  14. Don’t piss off a witch. #carrieridealong
  15. And the blood has hit the fan #carrieridealong
  16. Miss Collins, control yourself, we can see the love in your eyes! #carrieridealong #carrieiscrowned

  17. Actually, Carrie is kind of wearing the most scandalous dress at the prom. #carrieridealong #christiangirlsgonewild

  18. This shit could never happen nowadays. You can’t even get to prom without someone checking your panties now. #carrieridealong

  19. Spinning spinning spinning blaaarrrgggghhh #carrieridealong

  20. Aww, Tommy is so sweet. I feel bad for making fun of his hair now. #carrieridealong

  21. Don’t worry, Carrie, slow dancing takes the least amount of effort. Just ask my prom date. #carrieridealong #sorrynickloveya
  22. Seriously, Miss Collins is awfully touchy #carrieridealong
  23. Why does this suddenly feel like an awkward first date. . .? #carrieridealong #misscollinscrushinoncarrie
  24. Ew, who wears a baseball cap to prom? How is she one of the popular girls? #carrieridealong

  25. Obviously the director had a hard-on for Hitchcock, between the Psycho music and it being set at Bates High School, come on #carrieridealong
  26. Seriously, proms were way cooler back then. #carrieridealong
  27. You can learn everything from a library #carrieridealong #lessonslearnedfromcarrie

  28. “We’ll burn it together and pray for forgiveness!” Sounds WAY more fun than prom. #carrieridealong

  29. “I can see your dirty pillows. Everyone will.” Nope, this is the best line. #carrieridealong
  30. How is it that Carrie who has been locked in a closet her whole life can put on make-up nicely and I can’t? #carrieridealong

  31. Tommy looks like a poodle in a ruffled shirt. #carrieridealong

  32. Some guy shows up wanting to count the ballot last minute? And he’s usually a douchebag? Naw, nothing suspicious about that #carrieridealong

  33. “Just keep your tits on.” Best line so far. #carrieridealong

  34. Carrie, honey, you really shouldn’t be telling your crazy fricken mother about the telekinesis. . . baaad move #carrieridealong

  35. What is with Mrs. White and collecting scary images of Jesus? #carrieridealong

  36. This is the quietest pig farm ever. #carrieridealong

  37. Come on, Miss Collins, what grown woman wears knee socks? Also, tone down the blush, baby. #carrieridealong

  38. Travolta’s country accent sounds like a bad GWB impersonation #carrieridealong #nuculer
  39.  Okay, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he barely touched her and that slap sound effect was way overkill #carrieridealong #donthitpeople
  40. John Travolta drinks beer like a moron. (And not just because he’s driving) #carrieridealong

  41. Why is Tommy the only one in an all black track suit? Is he mourning his shitty hair? #burn #carrieridealong

  42. Ten points if you know what a card catalog is and how to use it! #carrieridealong #Iamold

  43. I wish I had a Miss Collins in high school. Make those bitches sweat! #carrieridealong #usedtobethefatkid

  44. What the fuck? Even the nerdiest teacher with the stupid bowtie and weird cuffs is picking on Carrie? Screw this school. #carrieridealong

  45.  CREEPY JESUS GLOWING DEATH EYES #carrieridealong
  46. Between the evil music, the dark house and the witch’s cape, Mrs. White could have been foreshadowed a little less #carrieridealong

  47. This is the meanest high school in the WORLD. #carrieridealong

  48.  So apparently Carrie opens with soft core porn. Don’t drop the soap! #carrieridealong
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6 thoughts on “Carrie Ride-along

  1. sychela May 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm Reply

    I feel obligated to say, You should read it! I mean, it’s like Stephen King’s first book. It’s really good. You could live tweet reading it! (Good blogging of your live tweeting, btw.)

    • oneclassydame May 11, 2013 at 10:09 am Reply

      Why thank you :) Yeah, I’ve been told that I should read it. I’m sad to say that I actually have never read a word by Stephen King. I should probably get on that.

      • sychela May 12, 2013 at 10:59 am

        Oh, well if you’re starting from the very beginning, I would probably recommend starting with something else. Pet Sematary maybe. Or Misery.

  2. korin! May 12, 2013 at 4:20 am Reply

    So that’s why you are now following me on my twitter account (which I never use either). I was wondering about that.

    • oneclassydame May 12, 2013 at 10:41 am Reply

      Yeah, once I logged in (surrounded by a puff of aging dust), Twitter got super excited and showed me this huge backlog of people that I guess I should be following. I’m one of those hip kids now, I suppose.

  3. Tony Lacy-Thompson May 13, 2013 at 7:45 pm Reply

    So are you now going to read all Stephen King books back to front? Most amusing classy.

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