This post is very boring. I just need to write what I think so I can let it go.
A Few Things:
1) I’m halfway done with my internship at Chronicle. Even though I have a month and a half to go, I feel myself already thinking “What’s next?” Due to low turn-over rates for jobs in the Children’s Editing Division (and in any division, it seems), my options are: do another 3 month round of interning or not do anything. Not sure. Part two of this decision? Do I keep well-paying, easy-as-pie, cool-coworker job in PR? Do I keep it part time while doing Round 2 of Chronicle (ie, continue what I’m doing) or do I go full time?
2) Living at my mom’s. Great because my mom is amazing and takes care of me when I’m too lazy. Also, it’s nice to come home to dinner every night, already cooked, already arranged on a plate, just waiting. Bad because the commute is tedious. Great because rent is free. Bad because it’s not easy to have friends/boyfriend over. If I move, where the hell do I go? I’ve been rent free since May. I forgot how expensive living is. A lot will depend on decision of Part One.
3) I want more mind space to write again. I leave my house in the dark, I get home in the dark. And I want to veg out, not think or create. It’s not good. I need an outlet or I think I’m going to start getting more dramatic. Other than food and alcohol.
4) I’m glad to go Ventura this weekend. I’m not excited about the drive, but at least I won’t be alone. It’s been a long time since I’ve made that drive with another person. Possibly not since sophomore year of college, when my dad used to drive me. I fear a little sounding the alarm that I will be in SoCal because I will be there so briefly that it will be hard to see everyone who requires a visit. Next time. Next year.
5) I’m reading a really excellent manuscript. I can’t talk about it because it’s against the rules, but boy am I excited to read something uncritically. Usually I enjoy the good pieces, but I’m still able to pick apart what I think would improve it. Not this one. I’m reading it like I’m reading a book that is off of my shelf.
6) I’m kind of forcing myself to write this right now. I’m currently eating oatmeal out of a Chronicle Books mug and reading the aforementioned manuscript. But, again, I needed to write something. I need to write something. I have thought of so many moments in the last week that I thought “I will write about this” “I will document this.” But so far I’ve allowed them all to just be private moments with myself, or silly things to tell my boyfriend. I documented things for a while in this blog. But I think I’m reverting back to its original purpose; a need to express. A need to write it out.
More later. Hopefully.